My long trip has finished. London was my home for one month and Amsterdam was it only for a few days.
The quality of life in such an important and big city is difficult and I come back to Beijing exhausted.
London absorbed a huge amount of energy I wasn’t used to spending: it was wasted simply because by living there. A demanding city in all senses.
I saw lots of Artistic manifestations, classic Art and contemporary Art. I saw and I learnt. My English has improved but my life and my body have suffered and I have to recover my balance; one way to do it is writing about what lived there.
In London I suffered from fear of violence, but also from fear of ‘legality’. This city has one of the fastest levels of growth in criminality in the world. People are scared of being robbed or attacked; they fear the other, because of race or origin, because of their difference. London is a ‘brutal’ city to its immigrants and ‘brutal’ to young people with dark skin too.
It is a city afraid of terrorism, and it has fallen into paranoia. I saw unjust acts of justice, violence over its own citizen only on the premise of prevention. Twice the police stopped me, I say that with sadness, only because of my appearance and nothing else.
Stopped by the police on my way to the tube station, I could see the fear on the face of the policewoman who was holding with a trembling hand a piece of paper showing those exact points under which the ‘law’ permits stopping me in any case they (the police) think it necessary. I was in a “vulnerable” zone and I had the profile of a terrorist going to do his job. The policewoman was trembling because of the fear I was a terrorist and I could detonate my bombs in that very instant, finishing with her dreams and life; I was trembling because of fear from their excessive nervousness and fear they would react the same as with a Brazilian youth a year ago, killing me. Their colleagues (all policemen) asked me, with my hands held high up: ‘do you have anything in your pockets or on your body that could harm me or my colleagues?’… They were asking me, Gustavo, a person who has really tried during the last years not to harm absolutely anyone, but they didn’t know that, they thought I was ‘suspect of being a terrorist’ who could harm not only them, but myself and dozens or hundreds of others.
It was a shock, even more so because it was the second similar situation I lived (the first one had been at the airport), only because of ‘my appearance’… Yes, it didn’t matter dressing well, showing documents, cash or credit cards; it was something beyond the idea of having a social position. It was the fear of another race and culture that my “aspect” provoked in them.
With that fear I kept living and walking day and night. I observed ‘Stops and Searches’ of black skinned people, Arabs, immigrants from Eastern Europe. I saw people fainting, one suicide attempt in the waters of the Thames, police violence over common burglars, and that horrible behavior by the common Englishman over the ‘others’. Little by little I got used to living with that, at first I thought it was infernal and then one day I started noticing the sun and the blue sky (literally, no clouds), a strange thing in London, its wonderful views and faces smiling at the pubs (English people only smile ‘naturally’ at the pubs). I met nice people, friendly, from different origins, I exchanged ideas or simple words; I spoke different languages as well practiced my English (of course), French and Italian, I spoke Chinese! … I started to live as anyone does. I visited those amazing museums and exhibition halls. I went to the theatre and I saw many high quality spectacles and performances. I enjoyed architecture and the huge possibilities for having fun. I found some new friends too.
So far, I have uploaded only two posts showing my visit to The Globe and one Korean drums performance at the Thames Festival. I have lots of videos and ideas for writing several more (about sculpture and pieces of Greek theatre inside the British Museum, concerts, three plays in performance, an exhibition, one special silent film, street theatre, etc.), we’ll see how many become reality.
Amsterdam will be another chapter.